Shark Dating Simulator XL

A humanoid shark wearing a bikini. Dialogue reads 'Sure feels good to draw it into my more than ample lungs.'.
Have you ever been watching Shark Week specials and thought to yourself “hey, I’d really like to take one of those sharks out to a nice dinner and then get my hands all over those fins”? Because I sure haven’t.

And yet, Shark Dating Simulator lets you simulate what that experience might be like, with a healthy dose of sexism and objectification of women thrown into the mix just to enhance the experience. From the moment this game started (with the option to crudely comment on your boss’ boobs) to the moment it ended (with some disturbing shark-slash-sort-of-woman nudity), I found this whole thing pretty offensive. The slurs against what was ostensibly a lesbian relationship were really just the cherry on top of the underwater cake.

You should play this if…

You, unlike me, have a burning desire to date a shark? Get ready for some unnecessarily crude language that just feels like it’s there for the sake of being ‘hardcore’ though. This took me about half an hour to play through, and honestly, that just feels like half an hour of my life I’ll never get back.